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[a_titanum]

"Leave your message, if you care to."

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[monsterjohann]

He hums. "He's a friend. I don't have those. Haven't...ever before. I don't get to keep anything I care about."

Johann pulls back. "And before you say you, I did lose you. It just wasn't forever."

[a_titanum]

"I was not going to say that," he says patiently before beckoning Johann back to where he'd been, fingers flicking.

[monsterjohann]

He shakes his head in refusal. "Then what were you going to say?"

[a_titanum]

"'I'm sorry'," he answers, but otherwise, he's just waiting for Johann to come back.

[monsterjohann]

There's a flash of confusion, just a momentary one, then he laughs it off.

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do a damn thing."

[a_titanum]

A very small snort.

"Point one: no.

"Point two: one can feel sympathy even without admissions of guilt."

[monsterjohann]

"Oh, and how do you think you are responsible for my melancholy?" he grumps, but leans closer anyway, forehead against Florian's temple.

[a_titanum]

"My absence," he says with a soft sigh. He'll go back to petting his hair now, thank you.

[monsterjohann]

"It won't last," he assures him, closing his eyes.

"Don't worry."

[a_titanum]

"I am not worried," he says quietly, "and it does not, no. That does not make it any less painful while you are."

[monsterjohann]

He lets out a breath. "Let's go to bed. No staying up late studying."

[a_titanum]

"Tomorrow," he says pointedly. They will get back to it tomorrow. This is not being put off forever.

But it's agreement for tonight.

[monsterjohann]

Tomorrow comes and Johann returns from his breakfast shift and immediately drags Florian to bed. There's blood on his shirt - some of the dark, black of his own deep blood and some that doesn't even belong to him.

Not that he keeps it on long. And he doesn't address it. Not even after, when he's curled up close against him, fully intending on being exceptionally lazy and content the rest of the day.

[a_titanum]

Florian opens his mouth to make a complaint, ask a question, huff, or otherwise halt the proceedings... but when he sees how much blood, and how much he's torn up, he'll go right along. And once they're ensconced in bed, there will be a quiet murmur in his ear.

"...I think it's time I teach you how to feed magic into your healing."

[monsterjohann]

"Why? It was just a stab and a broken arm."

He holds him tighter, not wanting him to spend any energy on fretting. Johann feels, well, better than he has in weeks. "My healing was fine."

[a_titanum]

Florian's going to give him a very flat look.

"Is there a reason you do not want to learn a use for your magic?"

[monsterjohann]

"You try and teach me, but there are so many other things I'd rather be doing with you than sitting through lessons."

He sighs. "The old man who taught me to read only lasted a month."

[a_titanum]

"As if you have the patience to listen to anyone else," he says with a sniff and a shake of his head. Then he frowns.

"'Lasted'?"

[monsterjohann]

"I slit his throat once he gave me what I needed. I could carry the rest from the basics." As if it doesn't matter. As if nothing matters.

"There are only two ways in this world to make money and get what you need, Florian. For most people. Not all of us had the means to manipulate for our coffee and biscuits."

[a_titanum]

There's a very tight expression on his face for a moment, because he does not like being treated like a fool or a child.

"And most of us have to worry about being killed. The old man would have forgotten you once you were done with him. I hardly care that you killed him, but do not act as if your survival relied on it as it is patently untrue."

[monsterjohann]

"I didn't know that at the time, Herr Leickenbloom," he insists, digging in a little deeper, just because he can.

"What do you know about my survival? We each had our ways of doing it. I've seen yours. You don't know mine."

He's trying not to let the conversation spoil his good mood, so he pulls him closer, his fingers in Florian's hair.

[a_titanum]

"You have seen it," he says with a small huff, "but I doubt that you understand it."

He doesn't want an argument either, but he's not about to pretend he thinks Johann actually gets all of the intricacies of his life.

"Tell me about yours."

[monsterjohann]

He sits up, looking down at him. "Do you know why my name is Johann? A dock hand beating the fuck out of me after I stole a coin asked my name. He threw a few out and I latched onto that one. Then, when I had a name, I tried to get money in other ways."

He's only alluded to this to one other person before and he can't bring himself to say it aloud now.

"One man took what I hadn't given and I bashed in his head with a rock. That was when I realized I could kill people to get what I wanted. I had no direction, didn't know who or what I was...and so I just put one foot in front of the other, slitting throats when I needed something or grew bored.

[a_titanum]

Johann will get to watch Florian's face remain utterly still and placid as he goes through all of that, a sure sign that he is feeling anything but those things, before he nods. None of that sounds atypical to Elendhaven.

"And how does that relate to the old man?"

[monsterjohann]

"Well, at one point it became a habit. He was a professor of literature, something like that, and I needed to read. So I forced him to teach me and I couldn't pay, so I killed him."

He takes his fingers and twists Florian's hair between them.