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[a_titanum]

"Leave your message, if you care to."

Comments

[a_titanum]

Certainly.

And where would you like to begin?

[artistinexile]

With instruction on how one cultivates trust and friendship on this ship. Clearly my previous ways of doing so are not applicable here.

[a_titanum]

How did you do so previously?

It's possible that they are applicable, just with some tweaking.

[artistinexile]

...To be entirely honest, I seem to be taken in by other, cleverer people than myself who have noticed my oddities and sought to correct or understand them.

Or in the case of military assignments, they had no choice but to work close alongside me. Most find my..

[how to put this...]

...Egalitarian ways off-putting. I found it useful to give respect to those who serve below me and trust me with their lives. Those sacrifices should not be taken lightly.

There are those who did not appreciate meritocracy, and those who did. That is all I can say with certainty.

[a_titanum]

[ Hmm. ]

And how much luck did those who sought to correct you actually have?

[ Oh he has other questions. But that's a big one. ]

[artistinexile]

....Three, I believe, had some measure on my behavior. Mainly to the point of masking troublesome qualities.

[a_titanum]

Ah, one of the least useful ways to go about it, forgive me for saying.

[ He looks to Thrawn curiously. ]

May I ask a few questions about that, or are you too cross at me for such a sensitive subject?

[artistinexile]

I am not cross.

Please; ask away.

[a_titanum]

[ There's a little eyebrow bounce, as if to say 'okay', he's going to take that at face value, before he continues. ]

Do you believe it is your egalitarian ways themselves that cause the irritation?

[artistinexile]

I believe there are those who prefer I give preferential treatment and assignments to those who wish to trade favors.

In response, I have faced everything from court martials, to my ships going to the bottom of the list in blue dock.

[a_titanum]

Let's draw back from 'court marshal's to simple dislike and social faux pas, hmm?

Those who just... don't get along with you. Do you believe there are any other parts of your personality that they object to?

[artistinexile]

Most likely.

[a_titanum]

And most common among them?

[artistinexile]

Shocking as it may be, those who dislike me usually do not stay long to conduct post-meeting interviews.

Do you think my graduation hinges on making me likeable, Florian?

[a_titanum]

I think that many of those who come here, myself included, dismiss those who disliked or stood against them and that the logic for why is a part of their justifications for their own actions that, by the end of their time here, must be addressed. To deconstruct even one, even the most minor of them, will provide a foothold and even 'practice' for questioning assumptions one sees as foregone conclusions or 'simply logical', 'reasonable', etc.

It also will ensure a greater number of people around you. You have been singular in your life, Thrawn. And singularity breeds a dangerous sort of confidence and recklessness when totally unchecked which has a terrible tendency to go poorly for all involved.

Add to this that you will be more effective if you are likeable and it seems a perfectly suitable first project.

[artistinexile]

Certainly an ambitious first project.

Am I to begin with this man?

[a_titanum]

Let us not sequester this interaction off into it's own silo. You are welcome to work on it, but this will be more broadly focused. Instead, I would like you to begin in three ways.

The first is to consider and seriously evaluate where your deep discomfort with social interaction might come from and what has contributed to it. You are not without bonds. What do those bonds have that maintain them? Why do you choose not to make or attempt social bonds with others? Reexamine the decisions and be honest with yourself about how much control you feel you do or don't have in this arena. Consider how much the lack of bonds serves you on an emotional level as well as social.

The second is to think of someone you are interested in, admire, or easily see value in interacting with whom you have not as of yet for whatever reason. Motivation is important, but it should be a social motivation and not a practical one. The means to make someone do what you want because you need something is a different lesson than the one we're working on right now and it's best not to mix the two.

The third is that I'd like you to come up with a scenario or an opening discussion to potentially start that interaction. We'll workshop it together.

[artistinexile]

[with grudging respect]

You are nothing if not thorough.

I can give you a short list of those I have yet to reach out to. The problem lies in that they will be people I wish to seek out for practical reasons.

Or I can explain the few people who have managed to cultivate friendships here with me, but I confess that I may not be able to describe how or why they do so.

[a_titanum]

Always.

[ A dip of his head. ]

Then your assignment in the second part would be to find someone who fits that criteria. Though I will, of course, love to hear about the other list and those people who you've managed to cultivate friendships with. That will be useful too.

[artistinexile]

Indeed. I will aspire to find someone who can offer me nothing, who I can offer nothing to, and attempt to build without foundation.

[so dry. this is going to be a nightmare for him]

There are those who have outright described me as a friend and those who have not yet made overtures of friendship but have, through their actions, proven to be people worthy of trust and merit.

[Then again, knowing Thrawn, he knows he could be being led around again. It's a fact that worries him about himself]

Thus far, the list of friends or, at the very least, allies in arms;

Aerith Gainsborough. D'Vana Tendi. Frankie Harvest. Justine Florbelle. Lucy MacLean. Nana Daiba. Wu Xin.

[of course he lists them in alphabetical order. But it wasn't until just now that Thrawn realizes he is friends with a list of almost all women.]

[a_titanum]

Nothing practical. We are learning about the value of the soft skills and soft benefits. As long as you are not actively seeking a tangible benefit from them, they would be appropriate.

[ And then he's listening to the list. Hmm. Quite a few names he's satisfied with. A few he's less familiar with. Don't think he missed the gender balance either, Thrawn. ]

I quite like Fraulein Gainsborough. I have yet to meet Fraulein Tendi or Fraulein Harvest. Mademoiselle Florbell is a friend of mine as well. Fraulein MacLean seems promising. Herr Wu Xin I've only spoken to in passing, though I've provided him a shield. Fraulein Daiba... hmm. I have not met her either. Good to know.

Do you find any similarities in the group as listed?

[artistinexile]

Understood.

I believe you will like Tendi especially. She is...enthusiastic. Very eager to assist in whatever way she can.

Up until listing them out, one after the other, I did not realize they were nearly all female or female-presenting. I have had friendlier conversations with male-presentings, but these were of a more practical nature of mutual benefit thus far.

Wu Xin is the lone stand-out, though I could not tell you why, nor why most of my list consists of this gender mark-up. Especially when considering that the ship itself harbors two-to-one ratios of men to women.

[a_titanum]

I will make a point to reach out to Fraulein Tendi at my earliest convenience.

There are a few potential reasons for such a definitive tendency. I don't think it would be fair or smart to make any assumptions for the moment, but perhaps consider how your interactions with them differ from those you have with male-presenting individuals moving forward. I have some theories but data is what we need.

[artistinexile]

I agree. I should hope I do not treat one group differently than the other, but perhaps my bias blinds me.

[a_titanum]

If it is any comfort, my suspicion would be a compliment to you as opposed to a bias. But I'd like to gain more data before confirming.